Our nation's trousers are expanding. We're becoming obese and unhealthier than ever before. So should the government step in and stop us eating ourselves to death?
This kind of suggestion annoys me. It's a good idea to make sugar more expensive and vegetables cheaper, yes, but this shouldn't need to happen in the first place. Junk food is only cheaper if you don't know how to shop or cook. Honestly, David Cameron will be sending out teams of social workers with toilet roll next.
Everyone should have access to green space to grow some food of their own. In my uneducated opinion, people need space, views and fresh air. Digging the garden and understanding where your food comes from is a basic animal instinct, like sexual attraction and locating the nearest Costa. But we're building all over our green spaces to house our out-of-control population and ensure that no one is more than 10 metres from a Tesco at any one time.
There's talk that the five a day fruit and veggie target should be raised to seven a day, but is there any point when many don't even make the five? The 5/7 a day is flawed in any case because it implies that's enough, when in fact your entire diet should be mostly made from fruit and veg.
What happened to schools teaching life skills? The kind of skills we need as adults, like financial management, grocery shopping, cooking and basic DIY? Algebra and war poetry have their place, but boys and girls should be taught what to buy each week to make healthy and filling meals first.
Schools should offer free tasty fruit. This is what any sugar tax should subsidise. The cheapest apples are dry and flavourless. It's no wonder children don't want them. A freshly grown British apple that's only travelled a few miles tastes amazing. Schools shouldn't be restricted to apples either; good quality grapes, peaches, kiwi, bananas, carrots and sliced peppers are perfect snacks for our kids.
Which leads us to...
It's cheaper to import, but it's not necessarily healthier. Food miles are no joke. Apples that travel on a boat from South Africa and cucumbers from Spain lose vitamins. We could grow them here, except the farmers don't make any money and go bankrupt. It's a sad state of affairs when you ask a restaurant where the lamb came from and the chef says Tesco.
Our diets are worse than ever, our health is on the wane and our school results are not competitive with the rest of the world. This can hardly be a coincidence. If we ever had another war, Britain would not be able to take care of itself. Imports rule. Cheap clothes from the subcontinent, year-round food from across the globe - we couldn't be self-sufficient if our freedom depended on it.
So yes, the government should tax sugary food and subsidise fruit and veg. I can't believe we got ourselves into this position.
It's happened. I've turned into my grandmother.