Boobs are great. They look fantastic whatever size and give men something to think about. I'm surprised there wasn't a national day of mourning when The Sun decided to finish up page 3.
Our love affair with boobs is long-reaching. They've been a sign of good health, fertility and sexual desire right back to Ancient Mayan times. They also develop long term differences as we age. They are constantly changing, just like Cheryl on the X Factor.
Let's take a closer look at aging boobs, because why not? Breasts are amazing.
Breast cancer is a real threat to your health. If you don't self examine you need to start right now. If you find a lump, don't immediately panic. Yes, it needs to be checked, but Breast Cancer Care says that 80% of lumps are not cancerous.
As we hit our 40s oestrogen levels drop and breast tissue is replaced by fat. This is why they don't feel so firm and develop bumps. It doesn't happen overnight or evenly across your breasts, and this can lead to knottiness. Bumps can also be related to our periods, with hormonal changes making them lumpy and achey.
Oh, 'tis a sad day when you take off your bra and your shoulders breathe a sigh of relief. We know they are supposed to be 'up there' because Gok Wan tells us so, but even the most supportive bra straps can't hoist big boobs up without putting a stain on your shoulders. As we age, our boobs are pulled down by gravity and filled with fat. The scientific word for this process is 'ptosis'. I prefer 'pcrap'. Tuck 'em into your belt.
Pregnancy can wreak havoc on your boobs. Stretch marks may appear and size changes can damage their long-term elasticity. After breast-feeding has finished they may be a totally different size to your pre-pregnancy boobs. You may also have darker areolas and bigger nipples afterwards too, but pregnancy is what boobs are designed for so don't worry about it. Buy a great bra to put them back in place. If you've survived childbirth and toddlerhood a few boob changes are a piece of cake, just don't forget to keep checking them in case breast cancer is lurking.
As we age, our collagen abandons us like a Hollywood A-lister abandoning his older wife, and this makes your boobs less dense. It's not all bad news because when breasts are less dense it means mammograms are more effective. The doctors can see your breast tissue properly, without all that pesky collagen dirtying up the view. You could say this change is life-saving.
So love your boobs, girls. They will change as you age, just as every part of you changes. You might not like it much, but you can't fight it without major surgery. Eating well, exercising and checking for abnormalities is all you can do. It's such a small ask that there's really no excuse not to do it.