If your partner's sex drive is flagging, or you're finding that physical intimacy is the last thing on his mind, then it's worth looking at the reasons why this could be the case.
There are plenty of explanations for why he's avoiding sex and these can depend on his age and what is currently happening in his life.
Some of the biggest reasons men may not want sex are related to stress, anxiety and feelings of inadequacy. Psychological issues can be detrimental to one's wellbeing and enjoyment in the bedroom and may contribute to various physical problems such as erectile dysfunction (ED) and premature or delayed ejaculation. A troubled mind creates stress in the body, making it difficult to achieve satisfactory sexual performance and creating sexual problems for both you and your partner.
Anxiety about an aspect of life, such as his career or relationship can be detrimental to overall sexual performance, especially if he feels he can't be open with you about his worries, or if you are both holding emotions back from each other.
Being able to express yourself freely with a partner is important, as it can prevent any ill feelings building up between you. Many relationships suffer when one or both partners can't communicate efficiently, as this prevents you gaining clarity on issues that may be upsetting you. Try having counseling if possible as this could help to give you both the space needed to discuss problems that might be affecting your relationship.
Stress is another major factor that can have a big impact on his sexual health. Taking on too much at work may cause him to feel overwhelmed, while worries about a promotion or an argument with his boss might be making him feel insecure about his future prospects – all of which can show up in the bedroom. Stress has an impact on heart rate and blood pressure, and this can result in reduced blood to the penis, making it difficult to maintain an erection.
If you want to help your partner, encourage him to write down his worries, practice deep breathing techniques or find time to be on his own in a meditative state as all of these can make a world of difference to his feelings.
Drinking too much alcohol can affect erectile function temporarily or in the long term, depending on consumption. Alcohol restricts blood flow to the penis, making it difficult for the penis to become erect. Being intoxicated may also reduce sexual desire. Chronic heavy alcohol use results in erectile dysfunction in 60-70% of cases, according to numerous studies.
Shyness can have an effect on the nervous system too. In the same way that anxiety and stress can cause ED, so too can inexperience, as this may lead to feelings of embarrassment. Learning to overcome shyness can help the body relax and encourage blood to flow properly to the penis. Encourage your partner to practice relaxation techniques such as listening to soothing music, as this should calm his nerves and make it easier to perform in the bedroom.